Dinner

This week really does seem to be dragging. Hopefully my painting is arriving at hospital today and I did manage to put one print up on Etsy yesterday. This is good as it basically means the template is done so it will be much easier for me to start adding the rest, which will be today's treat.

I don't even know what would help today. Is lockdown too much? Do I need to have a friend over? Go to the pub? Go to a different town? See my family? Get drunk? Paint? Have a spa day day? Go to the Cinema? Go out for dinner?

All such simple pleasures that would be ridiculously good right now. Going out for dinner with friends. Now that I have said it. That is what would help!

One day. In the meantime, I had better fire up Etsy and pretend that is going to earn me some money!

Paddington

It seems strange that I have managed to keep up my new routine so well until this week. I still got up for Zumba, and then went for a walk in the almost rain, the early routine and blog post is just slipping a little. Maybe I will do a better job tomorrow.

My NHS inspired lockdown painting has just been collected and is now on its way to North Middlesex Hospital for them to hang in their staff well being room and brighten up the situation a little. Bizarrely I feel a bit worried about this one going, what happens if it gets lost on the way or isn't looked after when it arrives? Donating a painting is very different to selling one. When it has been sold you know it is wanted, when it is donated you are sending it out like Paddington with a 'Please look after this bear' sign attached. But I am sure it will be fine, it is a positive painting and was created for this situation so it should all be perfect.

Worry mode seems to be engaged today. This could also be because I need to go food shopping. Out of all the lockdown things we have to do, it seems to be shopping that I like the least. I don't even know why. I shall probably feel ten years younger once it is done.

Maybe then once I get back, I can finally put some prints up on Etsy. Productivity doesn't seem to be my strong point this week.

A White Tree in the Chaos

Today seems like a less enthusiastic day. Whether that is because it is raining, because yesterday was too good, or because I am tired and stiff I wouldn't like to say.

Sun salutations for the day are done although, admittedly without the sun but never mind. They are getting easier but I am still surprised by how stiff I am in the morning and how fatigued my muscles are. They are making a serious toning difference though, I can see muscles returning that I had forgotten I once had. I feel like I am onto a secret here!

In other news one of the online galleries I belong to has set up a scheme to provide art for hospital well being rooms. I have just emailed them to offer my global pandemic painting (which is a more positive picture than it sounds) if they want it! Fingers crossed they will. I like the thought of it being able to help to bolster people up a little!

I also managed to produce a new painting at the weekend. This one was a 'make it up as you go along' type thing. I had decided I wanted to try a different method to produce the background of the piece of work; A drip technique reminiscent of Jackson Pollock. I also had the thought of shooting stars in my mind as we had just had ten days of them flying overhead. So the background was supposed to be a milky way, dark, star filled kind of background. It didn't turn out like this at all. It was a muted, soft, colourful collaboration of serenity and peace, that shouted daytime. Cue a rethink. After sitting with the work for a while it was shouting at me to paint a white tree over the top of it, so that is what I did, and here is the finish piece. I am in love with all the colours in the background, and could sit looking at it for hours.

I have also heard back already that they are happy for me to send my painting to North Middlesex University Hospital, so that has cheered me up no end. Maybe today will be a good day after all!

Afternoon!

I am not going to even pretend I am keeping to time today as it is 3pm.

Oops.

I did get up and salute the sun, but then it was sunny so I decided to rush out for a walk this morning in anticipation of rain for the next few days. On my return I was starving and had a call from a friend. Hence my lateness.

Today feels unproductive thus far, although 'Crackle' has been picked up by my courier and I have marked up my print list and checked stock levels of my packaging supplies. Turns out I just need some mid sized painting delivery boxes and I am tempted to source some limited edition print packaging.

I did manage a new painting on Saturday, so my mission this afternoon is to put that online and then I can blog about it tomorrow. Afterwards it will be time to plod through putting all my prints on Etsy which I am sure won't be fun, but hopefully might earn me a few more pennies! Fingers crossed.

I guess that is it for today! I hope you had a good weekend.

Friday

And somehow it is Friday again.

Everything hurts this morning, so I am glad the sun salutations are done, zumba is done and I have an exercise free (other than walking) weekend.

I actually did very little yesterday except enjoy the sunshine. It was a lovely day. I will be making up for it today by trying to do the things I didn't do yesterday. It also looks like the weather is going to turn from Monday onwards, so I may just make the most of the sunshine whilst it is here and then work harder next week in the rain.

I also need to think of a new painting to do at the weekend if I can. I can already feel my mind is wandering today though, so I fear productivity may not be high on the list.

Crackle

I am even later this morning but that is because of good news. I put my new painting online and up for sale yesterday and had to take it down again this morning as I sold it! 

That is my kind of productivity. 

Today seems like it should be a good day, the sun is shining, I have some general admin to do, I need to prep my painting for delivery and update my print stock list so I know which Limited Edition number I am on and what I need to order as and when I run out. I think I also need to order some more packaging supplies or at least check what I have. It might be time to set up a stock list of that as well; I am like my own personal shop. 

But anyway, a bit more about my new painting as I have just created and sold it. It is obviously just as well I abandoned the piece I was working on to paint something that had more feeling and felt more in tune with the current climate and myself. The idea came about after talking to a friend who noticed and purchased my tornado print 'Sucks' a couple of days previously. I painted 'Sucks' when I was angry, and I mean, really, really angry. It reminded me how therapeutic it was to get all of that anger and frustration out onto a canvas, and although I wasn't angry at the weekend, I did feel very emotional. I feel like lock-down kind of slowly builds up on you until you need a release, and with everything else that has been going on, I really needed to get rid of that pent up whatever it was. So cue, looking for some powerful weather, which I decided needed to be lightning, and then turned into a lightning strike cleaving the sky above Toronto in two. 

 

And bam, here it is. It did the job. For a few blissful hours I switched off and lost myself in the colours and the process. I already feel like I am good to go for the next painting, although I am unsure what that will be of at the moment. This painting is now called 'Crackle' for that static electrical build up you feel just before the storm starts, and for that first burst of energy that accompanies the first big rumble of thunder. I feel it sums up everything. 

 

  

Bread and Butter

I am doing everything round the wrong way this morning as I didn't get up in time to have breakfast before Zumba.

This is highly exciting stuff! Sigh.

I mostly managed to finish my Limited Edition Print making session yesterday, but I didn't quite have that peaceful satisfaction of finally achieving my goal. This was because when I ordered the mounting supplies I obviously lost the ability to add up and didn't order enough. I have five prints left over. The main goal has been achieved though as I now have at least one of all prints currently up for sale, so I can start adding them onto Etsy.

I realised yesterday that it is nice that my architecture work is currently on hold. It feels good to just use my focus to concentrate on one thing, and it has also made me realise that I do like the art side of things best, without a shadow of a doubt. Losing the will to live halfway through last year made me doubt everything I was doing as I was so dissatisfied. But this brief break of a better routine and actually managing to motivate myself to do some of the things I have had to put off for ages has made me realise, that art, should never be in doubt. I need it. More than I realised. Since I managed to paint on Saturday I feel almost a thousand times calmer and better.

Art is my medicine, and I think it hurt me that I lost it. Mentally and physically.

If only I could make it my bread and butter. Then life would be perfect. 

The Print Machine

So I have come to the conclusion that I will be able to stick to the sun salutations part of my new routine but maybe not my 'early' start time, as I have been getting later and later. I need to try and go to bed a bit earlier tonight before my day shifts back again. I am hoping it is just a temporary blip due to late night painting on Saturday and then too much Zumba.

Speaking of too much Zumba, I seem to have pulled a muscle in my lower back, backside which made the sun salutations this morning rather difficult! I am glad I will have a rest day from them tomorrow.

Art progress wise, I managed to make 24 small limited edition prints yesterday, and I have 24 left to do. That seems like something I should be able to finish today, and then I can get onto promoting my new painting. I keep thinking it is impressive how this new routine is helping me stick to completing the tasks I set myself each day. But then I remember it is because I have no interruptions, no sudden work, no friends randomly popping by and no unexpected events. I guess lock-down is good for predictability and productivity assuming my focus is in the building!

I hope you all have a good day. See you tomorrow! 

Footnote

And another long (feeling at least) weekend passes. Saturday was a bit of a struggle as I woke up without my marbles, I must have left them under the pillow. I would like to take this moment to thank my Mum for dealing with me whilst I was looking for them. Sorry Mum!

One positive of the marble losing debacle was that it finally put me in the need to paint frame of mind, so paint I did! I have aborted the half started painting temporarily, and focused on painting something that would be therapeutic for me. It did the trick and I slept really well afterwards. Also more importantly it gave me a couple of hours of blissful preoccupation. No thinking. No analysing. No worrying. Just colour. I think it is fair to say I got properly engrossed, especially as I managed to make this happen:

Making this much mess is an achievement even for me! I think it was just what I needed though, so I am hoping it will have broken my painting block.

Today's mission, is either to put my new painting online or keep making my prints. All the large ones are made now but I still have quite a few small ones left to do.

Also: note to self; trying to do sun salutations after a two hour Zumbathon session for the NHS yesterday is not a good idea. Everything already aches, and I think it is only going to get worse!   

Steady

So I didn't make as many limited editions yesterday as I had hoped but I did make some. The mounting supplies are being delivered in an hour or so, so I hope that means I can finish making them all today, but that will depend on how disciplined I am!

The sun salutations have had their usual calming effect this morning and I can surprisingly already see that they are toning me up. My arms especially are beginning to show a difference.

It will be time for Zumba in a moment, and hopefully all this exercise will make me happy to sit on the floor for the rest of the day assembling prints.

Positivity

So I actually did put my Maidenhead Clock Tower up for sale on Etsy and started making some limited edition prints.

What? Are you saying you actually did what you said you would do?!? Well, goodness gracious me!

I also found out I sold two prints over the weekend on my US sites; one of the Budapest Parliament building and the other of the Oslo Opera House. Look at all this positivity! What is going on? I have also already completed my 20 sun salutations, rather badly as my arms are still sore, but shush, and I feel ready to tackle my day!

This seems silly, was that all I have needed to do all this time? Get up and do some sun salutations!?!? I wish I had known this earlier, but I'll take it. More of this please.

Progress

I am trying to decide whether I regret saying I would write a blog post every day. Maybe I should have said I would write a blog post, a social media post, or put something up for sale on Etsy.

I guess I can always change the parameters.

So yes, a bit late today; Early Zumba always seems to wipe me. It is only half an hour earlier than the class on Friday morning but that seems to make all the difference. I am stiff in my shoulders and arms from the yoga yesterday as well. But on the plus side, I was actually productive yesterday; I did some banking, some admin, tidied and backed up my computer, went for a walk, sorted out my limited edition prints and ordered some more mounting supplies.

Boom.

Today, I am going to start assembling the large prints and put my Maidenhead Clock Tower framed prints up on Etsy for sale, and then maybe painting time? Who knows.

Looks like the looooooooooong restful weekend was good for me.

Happy Easter?

The Easter weekend has been and gone and it felt like a long one, and not necessarily in a good way. I decided to have a break from art and try and relax and get my head back in a more peaceful artistic state. I am not entirely sure it has worked but it was good to take the pressure off feeling like I need to make the most of this time and churn out some work.

Ironically I do feel like I need to paint today, but possibly not paint the picture I have already started. I am tempted to put than to one side for the moment and start on something different. The original picture I chose to paint, just feels like the wrong subject to be tackling at the moment, so I think I need to succumb and just paint something else. I will see how this day progresses.

On the plus side it felt good to get back to my routine this morning and get up and do some sun salutations. I managed 20 this morning. I also made the mistake of weighing myself. Highly un-recommended but it is another bit of me that I need to tackle. I am in no way overweight or unhealthy but I have a condition that is dependent on my weight, and whilst I look fine, it would be good to be at least half a stone, if not more, lighter.

It is debatable at the moment, whether taking on all these tasks in one go, will be too much. But I have a real chance to get into some healthy habits over the next few weeks, so I will kick myself if I don't at least try! Here is to hoping.

Stay well everyone.

Focus

Zumba is half an hour later this morning, which has seemingly given me enough time to get up, do my yoga, have breakfast and write this post before I need to start. Seems successful.

I attempted to finish my painting yesterday, which I didn't quite manage but I have worked it up some more, so it is a bit closer to being complete. I am not wonderfully happy with it at the moment, but it feels like, by this point, that I just need to get through it. I am always too harsh as well so I am sure it will be fine once the finishing touches are in place.

Bizarrely as well as my body remembering its yoga poses my fingers seem to be remembering how to type quickly. I didn't realise how out of practice with everything I have become. I think endlessly self motivating to get up and work and get underway is progressively draining. I have slowly been losing my focus for a long time and last year definitely pushed me over the edge. Set back after set back is ok for a while as long as you get a break at some point. Recently though it seems like every time something good might be happening it goes wrong, and I have to start again. I can believe and have faith most of the time; I am positive and I work hard, but there comes a point when even the most resolute start to doubt what they are doing. I am on this page at the moment. Lost and directionless. I know the answer is within me, I just need to push the negativity and the tiredness and the doubt to the side and dig it out.

What is it that you really want to do?

A bit of Zen

So I think I have discovered that this regime may be ok to keep, the only problem at the moment is the start time but hopefully that will improve. I am not, and never have been, a morning person, although I do like early mornings when I manage to see them.

Yoga is such a zen way to start the day, I can see why people do it. I managed 15 sun salutations this morning as my body is starting to remember how to do them although my form is still terrible. I am hoping they will help sort my back out, as well as giving me a strange calm, holistic feeling to carry with me throughout the day. Here is to hoping.

I did manage to complete my admin paperwork and file my tax return yesterday so that is good. Now it is time to either start painting or make some limited edition prints, and hopefully not spend too long wistfully looking at the sunshine outside. 

Oops

I realise it is going to look like I massively failed this morning, and I guess I kind of did. 

I had an online Zumba class at 9am this morning, and I had intended to get up early enough to do the sun salutations beforehand. However I can already feel all my muscles aching from yesterday so I decided Zumba would be enough, and I'll do yoga tomorrow. I then completely forgot about writing a blog post and started my admin instead. Hence belatedly writing it now. 

So 'the plan' failed, but the productivity succeeded. So I guess, like yesterday, it is still a 50/50 success. 

  

Rock and Roll

It is definitely not as early as I hoped it would be. I am probably an hour earlier than normal, but an hour later than I wanted to be. So half a success, it was the first day though, so I guess I can ease myself in. The good thing is that it was a nice way to wake up. The sun salutations are quite uplifting and calming so I feel more focused than usual and ready to get under way. I haven't completed any sun salutations for a long time and it showed. I am beyond stiff, so I hope that will improve with regularity. I also only started with ten so I would like to build up to a lot more. 

I also realised that if I am writing a blog post everyday, these posts might get pretty boring, so I apologise in advance. I am not sure if much art will happen today. If it does it will either be making some limited edition prints or finishing off the half started painting.

The first task will be getting in a food shop for an isolating friend, and then maybe working on my Tax Return and setting up next years files.

It is all rock and roll here.

The Purge

So it seems as though I still have too much on my mind. It is sunny, but I need to stay indoors, I should do some exercise but my back hurts, online zumba is coming, but it will interrupt my work flow, I have a text, three texts, twelve texts. I have eaten too much cake. I need to go and queue for some food and the post office. I need to head out for some fresh air. People need to know I am OK, I need to check that they are OK. I need to earn some money somehow....

Oh.

My.

God.

I need to stop thinking. 

Please brain, just shut up for a moment. I started a painting yesterday and managed to paint the background before I decided I wasn't even vaguely in the right head space to get it done. It is propped up in the lounge patiently waiting for my head to clear.

So I have come up with a plan. I was going to say one that won't work as I keep coming up with these plans but I should be more positive. I can't self sabotage before I have even started. So are you ready?

I need to get up EARLIER.

I am going to do some yoga sun salutations to start the day. Focused breathing.

Then breakfast and a shower.

Start the working day with a blog post and a brain purge to maybe start emptying whatever the hell my head is full of.

And then go, be free and do my day with no routine. But it has started well, and it has started an hour or two ahead of where I normally am. 

So that doesn't sound too bad. I feel like I can do this. I have the next few weeks of no work to make this my new way to attack the day, and I am writing it here to make it official. You can see whether it works or not by whether there is a blog post and at what time I posted it.

So come on. Lets do this. (and I'm having the weekends off, unless this routine makes me feel amazing)

Covid-19

I managed to create my first post lock-down painting the other day and needless to say it was about the current situation we find ourselves in.

I tend to paint how I am feeling or what I have seen, which is why I often paint more after I have been on holiday or if the weather is strong. It needs to be something that slightly catches my attention. A perfect sunset, a particular light, a strong wind, a storm, an amazing building, a place I haven't been to before. I tend to switch my art brain off most of the time, otherwise it would drive me crazy (yes people that know me, this is why I am sometimes incredibly vacant) so when it is off, it needs to be something different that catches my eye to wake it up again.

Everything about now is different and it is accompanied by an information overload. Articles endlessly rehashed, the same four points said 600 times across every newspaper and social media outlet ever created. 'Experts' dredged out of cupboards with debatable references, saying one thing, saying the opposite of another. 20,000 people will die, 8,000 people will die, some are old, some are ill, some are young, the curve is flattening, we are heading to the same fate as Italy....

I mean seriously, just hold for a second. We need to wait. We need to stay at home, social distance and see what happens.

BREATHE

I am a positive person, personally negative possibly, but glass half-full minded with a dark sense of humour (before I have all my friends saying 'What? You? Positive?!) So out of everything I have seen and heard, my brain chose the following points:

1. This is global and we are in it together.
2. There are rainbows of hope and thanks to the NHS
3. The NHS and the key workers are going to protect us, and we will look after them.
4. The earth will win, and the virus will go. 
5. Light/hope will overcome the dark/fear.  

At least this is what my brain has chosen to believe and to hear. So, with those points in mind, it should make this painting, pretty self explanatory....

Things will get better.