Zumba is half an hour later this morning, which has seemingly given me enough time to get up, do my yoga, have breakfast and write this post before I need to start. Seems successful.
I attempted to finish my painting yesterday, which I didn't quite manage but I have worked it up some more, so it is a bit closer to being complete. I am not wonderfully happy with it at the moment, but it feels like, by this point, that I just need to get through it. I am always too harsh as well so I am sure it will be fine once the finishing touches are in place.
Bizarrely as well as my body remembering its yoga poses my fingers seem to be remembering how to type quickly. I didn't realise how out of practice with everything I have become. I think endlessly self motivating to get up and work and get underway is progressively draining. I have slowly been losing my focus for a long time and last year definitely pushed me over the edge. Set back after set back is ok for a while as long as you get a break at some point. Recently though it seems like every time something good might be happening it goes wrong, and I have to start again. I can believe and have faith most of the time; I am positive and I work hard, but there comes a point when even the most resolute start to doubt what they are doing. I am on this page at the moment. Lost and directionless. I know the answer is within me, I just need to push the negativity and the tiredness and the doubt to the side and dig it out.
What is it that you really want to do?
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